How To Choose A Provider For Concerns With Sex: While Trying To Conceive, Pregnant, or Postpartum

This article covers why you may be concerned with sex and intimacy in the first place, different providers you may choose from, and who you can contact for more help. 

Common Concerns 

If you’re experiencing a concern on the list or something entirely different, know that you are normal and experiences vary. Some people end up feeling like sex is the very last thing they ever want to think about again while others desire for it skyrockets. All of these scenarios and everything in between is okay but you don’t have to suffer in silence. There are solutions to get you the help you need. 

Common concerns with sex while trying to conceive, pregnant, and postpartum include: 

● Changes in desire 

● Painful penetration 

● Trouble communicating with partners 

● Loss of interest 

● Feeling different about how your body looks or functions

● Feeling like sex has become less fun and more of a chore 

● Wanting to connect with someone other than your baby 

● Having a partner who is ready to return to sex while you are not, and 

● Wondering if sex is even safe right now 

Choosing A Provider 

Understanding the different types of support available can help you make an informed decision about what suits your needs best 

Sex Coach: Sex coaches take a talk-based, holistic, collaborative, and goal oriented approach with individuals and couples to explore and enhance their sexual well-being. The goal is to find out your concerns, focus on what you want to achieve sexually, and then how the coach can help get you there. I like to think of sex coaches as the case managers of sex. You provide the information and your needs and the coach connects you with resources, new ways of thinking, and other tangible services that will assist in meeting your goals. 

Mental Health Providers: A common mental health practitioner people reach out to are sex therapists. Sex therapists are able to dive deep into the psychological and emotional aspects of sexual health. They help address issues like depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, trauma, and relationship conflicts that might affect your sexual life. Therapy is beneficial if you need to work through deeper emotional and mental health challenges. 

Pelvic Floor Specialist: This professional focuses on physical aspects of sexual health, primarily concerning the pelvic floor muscles. They can help with issues like pain during sex, incontinence, diastasis recti (separation of ab muscles), vaginal or c-section scar mobilization, pelvic organ prolapse, and postpartum recovery. If your concerns are primarily physical, a pelvic floor specialist might be what you need to start with. 

Lactation Consultants: When leaking milk from your breasts, bleeding cracked nipples, or a sore chest is keeping you from fully enjoying intimacy with yourself or a partner, it’s time to get the help you deserve from a lactation specialist. Whether you plan on breast/chestfeeding or not, speaking to a lactation professional can help identify pain points and provide solutions for a part of the body that is often sexualized yet also expected to be nurturing to the baby. You may feel extra turned on from the chest feeling more full and sensitive, or it may be the very last area of your body you want touched right now. For tips on how to communicate this to a partner, download The Yes List. 

Fitness and Yoga Instructors: Engaging in movement that you enjoy—whether it’s taking a walk, attending a yoga class, or working out at your local gym—can greatly benefit your postpartum recovery and sex life. Fitness enhances sexual intimacy by strengthening the pelvic floor, increasing flexibility, reducing stress, boosting body confidence, balancing hormones, and improving circulation. Essentially, when you start to feel more like yourself again, it can have a lasting impact on the self-pleasure relationship you’re building with yourself and others. 

Other Professionals: So many professionals play a part in making your perinatal sexual wellness the best it can be. You will want to dive deep in assessing your readiness (Click here to download The Ultimate Postpartum Intimacy Prep Guide for a readiness checklist), communicate with yourself and your partners, and coordinate your efforts with your primary care team, including your midwife, OB/GYN, or

doula. Professionals all have different training levels when it comes to sexual health and some will be more comfortable discussing it with you than others. 

Remember that there are many benefits to initiating the conversation of sex with providers (even ones that seemingly have nothing to do with it). Doulas for example can help prevent birth trauma that could impact how you view touch postpartum. Nutrition providers, acupuncturists, and chiropractors can help 

your nervous system function properly lowering stress while trying to conceive, pregnant, and postpartum and possibly boosting fertility. Massage therapists can help you build a healthy relationship with touch, consent, self care, and nurturing your body. Photographers can help you find your sexy through boudoir shoots or document sweet family moments increasing non-sexual and emotional intimacy. Sleep specialists can help you get proper rest so pleasure is something you have time for, look forward to, and not something that is going to add exhaustion and one more thing on your to-do list. 

A good rule of thumb when addressing concerns with sex is to start by ruling out physical causes/ emotional causes, and then diving deeper into your wants, needs, and relational connections. Any move toward prioritizing your pleasure is important and can not only benefit your happiness but the wellbeing of your children and family. Many of these providers can be worked with in tandem to create a customized, person centered plan to get you the best pleasure you deserve. You can choose to start with the provider that seems to address the concern that is the biggest priority to you or work with a sex coach to build you a personalized action plan. 

Good luck! You can have it all as a parent and as a sensual being; it just might look a little different than it did before babies. 

About The Author 

Hi, I’m Kaci (Sex Coach Kaci). I’ve worked in sexual, mental, and reproductive 

health for over 13 years, and I’m also a mama with a 2½-year-old and a 

3-month-old. I specialize in working with parents who are interested in 

improving their pleasure and satisfaction while trying to conceive, during 

pregnancy, and postpartum. Working with me feels a bit like booking a therapy 

or self-care appointment—but with a sprinkle of bestie vibes. I use the MEBES 

and PLISSIT models to address the mind, emotions, body, energy, and 

spirituality, helping you get your questions answered and your sex goals 

achieved. It’s not always easy to talk about these taboo topics, but I assure 

you, I’ve heard it all and I’m happy to help. 

My Offerings 

I provide a range of virtual services aimed at helping parents thrive during the perinatal period: 

1. 1:1 and Couple’s Sex Coaching 

2. The Parent Pleasure Academy - Online Course and Community 

3. Infant Massage Series 

4. Pre/Postnatal Yoga Classes

My Unique Assets 

What sets me apart is my holistic and inclusive approach. I am not interested in pathologizing you. We build on your strengths and work on your needs together in a way that works for you. I am used to working with people from a variety of backgrounds, am kink, poly, and LGBTQ+ friendly, and guide you based on your own values not my own. I believe talking about our differences, intersectionalities, and identities can be transformative. 

My programs are built on the belief that every parent deserves access to pleasure. I strive to create a safe and supportive environment where you can explore and grow without judgment. 

Join Me 

I invite you to find out whether any of my services are right for you on a free discovery call. Whether you're just starting your journey or navigating the complexities of postpartum life, I’m here to support you every step of the way. 

For more information and to get started, book your discovery call here, visit my website, or contact me at SexCoachKaci@gmail.com.